Sometimes i wonder what heppines really is, if it´s getting what you want, or if it´s achieving something new, there are soo many things that can bring happiness that it´s kinda hard to pin point what it really is.
I often hear people say that without sadness we don´t have happiness, wich i agree, sometimes when i´m really depressed i actually get numb, and thats interesting cause those are the moments when im most creative.
Last week i had a breakdown, and i don´t do breakdowns, seriously, i often bottle up everything, oh don´t get me wrong, i talk a lot, i love talking about my shit over and over and over again, but i never loose control, last week, i lost it.
And it felt kinda good, i was so rock bottom with my feelings, i mean my life is a mess right now, not just one aspect, but all of it, im borke, out of a job, no jobs out there are appealing to me, my love life is a joke, as usua, and i don´t have any perspectives to what i should do, i don´t know what to do.
And that got me thinking about happiness, i mean, what does it take to make me happy, if i´ts finding love, if it´s finding work i don´t know what will do.
Other than that im just trowing myself into new projects, i always wanted to be multimedia, why make money with just one thing? right?
But i have to admit sometimes i get so bored with not having a job everyday that i almost want to ask for my old job back!! Thats depressing, really!
I´ve been looking at my friends lately and wondering what makes them happy also you know, for instance one of my friends is single for like a month, and freaking out, she needs, and i mean NEEDS to be in a relationship to truly be happy.
I don´t, i remeber entire periods of my life that i was truly happy, and single! And moments where i was in a relationship and miserable! So should i stay single? it´s that the answer?